Masturbation gone wrong!

[Wise Guy Yaken]

Well, this is an interesting story...
About an hour ago, i got the usual nightly urge, accompanied by my weekly urge to get mated. So i did what i usually do, i put on some anime to mask my pleasure moans, grabbed my lube and Kitsune toy, and got to work!
Well, about a half hour into it, and a lot of sweat and hot sexy action later, i finally take the knot. This isn't an every day thing, that was the first time i took the knot in a long long long time. So, enjoying my nice new full feeling, i decide to do what i love to do most, play with myself in-front of the mirror and watch my tail hole enjoy my little kitsune friend.
So, as I'm standing from my bed to get to my mirror, the wire from the vibrating egg add-on tangles around my ankle, and POP! It gets yanked out of my tight little tender tail hole. To add to the injury, i was clenching so i could move easier.
Now, luckily, it didnt cause any damage. Just seriously startled me, and made me yelp. With this in mind, i shall remember to never stand up with it inside me again.

This being said, 2 things came to mind. 1) I seriously wish the shaft behind the knot was a bit longer so i could stay tied with the knot deeper. 2) I wonder if anyone else on BD has any funny/scary stories like this.

So with this being said, does anyone have any funny or awkward stories they would like to share? I have more, such as "I'm a firefly, I'm a firefly!" "Wait, did i close the door?" "Super Smash Sex?" and my favorite, "THAT IS NOT A CHEW TOY!"

[Tekiwolf]

Well I have a couple experiences in that field. Mostly because I was young and inexperienced at the time.

Several years ago I got my first sex toy, it was a Kit Fox I believe. And I was naive to proper lubes and such. So what did I use? Conditioner. It kind of worked but I tell ya, my friend came in a few hours later and asked, "Why does it smell of sex and hair washing in here?"

Oh oh!

Okay, well here's a super embarrassing one, but because it was years ago, and several people know, I can tell it now

Okay so I was young, and liked knotting, and well one time I knotted the Kit Fox, but kept pushing because I was pawing when on Vicodin at the time (for my foot, had surgery on it the week before) and kept pushing the toy and the base went pop inside me too. I came and then reached for the base, only to find it wasn't there. So how do you try and get something out that's inside you? You push.

Well being unsure that I was really completely clean as there's always a chance of sanatorium. I decided hey, i'll just go sit on the toilet and push it out. Well I did, and it knotted with the bottom of the toilet. It took me like an hour to get it out and I was panicking the whole time. How would I explain it, and I couldn't flush it away, that would suck.

So yeah, lesson learned

[Runa]

Man, that would suck! The only embarassing thing I ever did was:

One time, I thought I'd try something new, and put a short thick cucumber in me and leave it there all day, then I went out drinking with my buddies, drank WAY too much, then that night, I woke up and went poo...quite drunk and forgetting that it wasn't poo that came out, so I left the poo-smeared cucumber.....and I got teased for it a lot. I feel sorry for my dad...he had to get it.

That's pretty embarassing, BUT we joke about it all the time, so it's no big deal anymore. I laugh at myself all the time.

[Wise Guy Yaken]

When i was younger and naive, i tried using lots of different things as lube. Butter, oil, conditioner, shampoo (Big mistake... Never use Head & Shoulders) and various other things. Until i was able to get my hands on real lube. I stole a crate of KY from a store i worked at, and realized it was way way way to much, and my family ended up finding 20 bottles of lube in my drawer. Needless to say, they were like "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!?"

Well, next story i guess would be "I'm a firefly, I'm a firefly!"
Me and 2 of my closer friends were out in the desert "Camping" and we started messing around. I wanted to stretch out for the big boy who wanted to mate me, so searching around, the only decent thing i could find was a maglight flashlight. The D-cell ones. So a stretch a bit, and rubber up the flashlight, and lube it up. I work with it a bit and get it pretty far in. Well, once i got it deep enough, it hit that little "Grunt" spot, and made me squeeze, right on the button. When we all seen the light go on, everyone started laughing wildly, including me, making me squeeze over and over again, making the flashlight flicker on and off for a good 5 minutes. The entire time, with them laughing and shouting "Im a firefly, Im a firefly!"

[Xander The Dark]

Well I have a non-closed door story: OK so I am home only with my younger sister who was somewhere else in the house. So after taking a shower I went in my room and so called "closed the door". Feeling horny and crap, still nude I got thee computer set up with a some pics fer me to fap to. Well just as I about to cum. I hear the door handle jiggles and start to slide open. In nano-seconds, I had the computer off and a towel around myself just as the door opened. Sis walks in and I am like: "Hey! I still changing!" Got a full erection rubbing against the towel making me squirm. She stands there for a few seconds and then leaving closing the door. After she is left I inspect the door, it was locked and it hit me. I did not close the door ALL THE WAY!

[Wise Guy Yaken]

Well Xander, that is a pretty big scare, but that just reminds me of "Wait, did i close the door?"

Basicly, same thing. Nobody was home, and i havnt pawed off in over a week. I decide to take a shower, and go to my bed. I thought i had shut the door all the way, but guess not. I was pawing, and fingering myself for a good hour, constantly teasing myself up to the brim, and then stopping. I did this about 5 times, and then finaly blew up all over the place, covering my stomach, face, hair, legs, bed, and so forth. Well, lying there in pure bliss, i hear the front door open (My room is only 15 feet from the front door) and i quickly look, to see my door open ALL THE WAY, and then here "Yaken, help us with the groceries!" I quickly jump up as i hear the footsteps to my door, and slam it with a mighty crack! Just as my cousin reached up to it. Made his ass jump! After that, i locked the door, closed my window, rolled over, and just fell alseep, only waking up later that night to take another shower. @.@;

[Monsieur Foxy]

I know how that feels. I was using my canid grande (different company, long gone) 14 inches long, knot 3.75 inches across, and 2.5 inches thick at the shaft and behind the knot. I just got home from a crappy day at school, and went up to my room and locked the door with he Metallica turned up, and slid my toy in to the hilt, and wast. I was pawing, and squeezing my nuts, and all of a sudden, as my body is bucking and arching, and I'm in heaven in orgasm, my toy slips into me, base and all. My ring just sucked it in. I tried and tried to get it out, even fisting myself to try to open enough to grab hold of the base and retrieve it. After two days I was in serious agony and finally had to tell my mom about it, and have her take me to the hospital. She threw it away when they got it out.

[Wise Guy Yaken]

Oh wow, poor Foxy! Yeah, ive never had anything slip up there and become unretreavable. Luckily, im so tight that it cant get up there in the first place. Either way, if i had to tell my family i lost a giant dog dildo up my ass, well... Yeah, lets just say ide rather indure the pain and let my intestines explode and die a horrible horrible death before i told them. And on my tombstone, it would have read "He died the way he lived. With dog cock in his ass"

[Draken14]

The 'losing the toy' is why I'm glad I am no longer a minor and able to drive my own car... worse comes to worse, parents don't have to get details.

[Xander The Dark]

I have another close call:

This was some months back when I using my modified plushie that I named Kiva. I knew I was not alone so I closed and locked the door so that my sister and brother could not enter the room. Though there is the two piece trick door on the adjecent wall, I had the slide lock in place. As horny as I was, I could not wait to get to romping Kiva. So I put a video on to mask my pleasure noises. So after lubing up I slide Kiva down and got to work. A few minutes later, I have done turned over and got Kiva riding me. I moaning lowing trying not to over power the volume of the video. But I hear the door handle jiggling. I keep my eye on the door and keep the plushie going. Then the door starts to slide open over the carpet since the hinges are too low. I quickly cover my self up with my cover and turn to one side, Kiva still on my cock. The door swings open and I am turn the side watching my cartoons. Both my brother and sister look at me. They close the door and leave. So I continue on getting Kiva to ride me again. My siblings bang on the door making me stop again. With a sigh, I keep going trying to keep my hard so I finish up. And finaly I get to orgasm but not the long body shaking orgasm that I am used to getting. I was upset, hard and had fur on my cock.

[Cyrsynik]

yeah one of my more...ehh..funny/embarassing moments was.

Well i had -just- opened my ridgeback, nobody was home.....so after doing a bit of chores i decided that i had enough time to ride him like no tomorrow......after i had gotten everything all lubed up the way i liked it :3 i started riding. about halfway through...**SLAM** mom was home! D: oh noes! she didnt know i was home, let alone she found me home riding the ridgeback....and yeah......needless to say she was not happy. She didnt know exactly what i was doing in the bathroom with the door locked (yeah right...) but it sure did scare the hell out of me. It was a nice ride though

And about 3 weeks later she found the ridgeback....and threw it away 3: **sigh** and then kicked me out lol.

[Shyfox]

Well I was jerking off one night in the dorm room around 3am. My room mate was sleeping, so I thought it was safe. Now I wasn't trying to cum, only just feel a little pleasure, and every time I would get the climax sensation I would stop and let it pass, and just go cum in the bathroom. Unfortunately I forgot that every time you do that, semen builds up in the tubing, and on like the fifth go my body couldn't take the torture anymore and it just exploded all over myself and my clothes. My mouth just went wide open from the sheer terror of getting caught, because now I had to go to the bathroom with my pants and undies down so I can clean up and change clothes before anyone sees or catches a whiff. Luckily, no one was awake or moving about. Still damn embarrassing... Although I was impressed with myself that I actually blew a huge load, and I think it went airborne (from a lying down position) about an inch or two from the pen0r, and I wasn't thrusting either
That was like a week ago lol
PS: cum flies funny

[Kira Swiftpaw]

Although I was impressed with myself that I actually blew a huge load, and I think it went airborne (from a lying down position) about an inch or two from the pen0r, and I wasn't thrusting either

*nods* "Brinkmanship," as it's called, is like that and will almost always (okay, has yet to NOT happen for me) yield a big load of cum. I'm not sure as to why, but it does. If you want to shoot even farther (and if you think about it before the climax fully hits), gently squeeze the head of your penis when you cum. You'll be pretty amazed how far it'll fly! ;3

>^.^<

[RaireEX08]

This is my only notable self-pleasure moment gone wrong ('cept the occasional spray into the eyes!).

T'was the usual situation back then - wake up with 'da bone', bathroom visit, showertime. Back in my bedroom (door closed, of course), drying myself and still feeling far too yiffy. I'm alone in the house, so I decide to solve things.

So I break out lube, spiraling dildo, and generic artificial vagina (little handheld jobby).

Sitting on the side of my bed, lube abounds. Insert myself inside her, and him inside me. Syncronised squishy thrustings commence...

*knock-knock* "Can I come in? *creeeak* (don't you just hate it when folks let themselves in without waiting for permission?)

Quick as a flash, towel around waist and standing as my grandfather wanders in unexpectedly. I exchange as many pleasantries as is possible when standing half-naked with two toys in danger of slipping off / out.

And he leaves. Whether he spied the tube of lube on the floor I'll never know... but it solved my hornieness at least! I didn't dare masturbate for another two weeks... and only then did I do it toyless in the bathroom with a LOCKED door.

[Wise Guy Yaken]

Wow, so many funny stories, im loving it. Well, i guess this qualifies for me telling 2 now. First, "Super Smash Sex"
Simply put, my EX really really really liked super smash bros for the GC. Well, he was visiting from Purto rico, and we were in our little hotel room, and hes playing SSBM. Well, i gfet aroused, and try and get him to play with me, only to get no responce as hes on tourny mode, so i yake his pants down, and jump on him, still no responce. AFter this, i get a bit upset, and lube his tail hole up, and mount, figuring hes gonna turn it off any second. Still, no responce. So, as afraid as he is of doing things bare back, i go ahead and mount him, no rubber, and tell him so. STill, no responce. I continue, as rough as i can be, and eventually finish, i colapse on him, load leaking out everywhere, and comment about how nice it is to cum in him. He finaly looks back at me and says, and i quote!!! "You almost made me lose, hurry up next time"... And that is why he is now my EX!
Second story, "That is not a chew toy!!!"
Well, when i lived with some other family, i had 2 malamutes, the sweetest best girls in the world! Never did anything wrong. Well, i had them in my bedroom late at night, and i decided to take care of my nightly needs, everyone was asleep, and so were the dogs. Well, i get out my BRAND NEW 16oz bottle of lube, the kind that you only need to buy once a year. I use just a tiny bit, since it is super concintrated, and get to work. About 10 minutes later, im done, and pretty much pase out. A few hours later, i awake to the sounds of growls, so i look, and my dogs are fighting over the bottle of lube. I quickly jump up and yell "THAT IS NOT A CHEW TOY!" and they both move away from it. Well, to late... I checked, and they were both COVERED head to tail in SILICONE based lube. Neadless to say, i spent the next 2 weeks washing them daily, trying to get it all off.
!!!Bonus story!!!!
This one is called "Woop Woop!"
Me and a couple of special friends were out in the desert camping one weekend, we decide to get nice and comfortable with each other, and start having a nice hawt 3-way! Awesome-ness! Well, not everything goes to plan, and since we are kinda tired from our long work days, we decided "Lets go to bed, and try again in the morning" so we all go to sleep. Me, and the other boy were fully clothed, while the girl with us, was buck naked under some blankets. About 7am, we here "Woop woop!" outside the tent! We all quickly panic! The cop aproaches the tent, and finds that it is sealed up, and there are beer bottles and condoms laying all around outside the tent, he must have been thinking "I like where this tread is going!" But saldy to the cop, the tent opens up, and 2 guys stare at him, with our sweet girl, hidden in the blaket, and out of view. The cop stares for about a minutes, groans, and askes for ID. We give it, he warns us we were on private property and leaves, telling us to hurry and leave as well. Well, the morning wasnt as sexy as we were hoping, but our hearts got pounding either way. Awww, nothing like the sound of "Woop woop!" to wake you up X) If he were to examin us more closly, he would have found enough stuff there to send us to jail for a few years, luckily, he quickly left when he seen the two of us X)

(Drunk right now, sorry for the spelling)

[C-Rex]

He finaly looks back at me and says, and i quote!!! "You almost made me lose, hurry up next time"... And that is why he is now my EX!

Wow, some people. He travels into the U.S., and across most of it, just to see you, but ends up playing a video game instead. That's pretty sad.

[Talarath]

editted

[Cyrsynik]

Although I was impressed with myself that I actually blew a huge load, and I think it went airborne (from a lying down position) about an inch or two from the pen0r, and I wasn't thrusting either

*nods* "Brinkmanship," as it's called, is like that and will almost always (okay, has yet to NOT happen for me) yield a big load of cum. I'm not sure as to why, but it does. If you want to shoot even farther (and if you think about it before the climax fully hits), gently squeeze the head of your penis when you cum. You'll be pretty amazed how far it'll fly! ;3

>^.^<

i was standing once, and got it like across my bedroom, and once it hit the cealing in the shower lol....that was kind of funny ;3

[Wise Guy Yaken]

Although I was impressed with myself that I actually blew a huge load, and I think it went airborne (from a lying down position) about an inch or two from the pen0r, and I wasn't thrusting either

*nods* "Brinkmanship," as it's called, is like that and will almost always (okay, has yet to NOT happen for me) yield a big load of cum. I'm not sure as to why, but it does. If you want to shoot even farther (and if you think about it before the climax fully hits), gently squeeze the head of your penis when you cum. You'll be pretty amazed how far it'll fly! ;3

>^.^<

i was standing once, and got it like across my bedroom, and once it hit the cealing in the shower lol....that was kind of funny ;3

Well, not to brag or nothing, but for me being "Average" size, i seem to do pretty good. Normal occasion, I'm laying in bed, and end up hitting my chest. Really good days, i hit my face, and hair, sometimes i aim and shoot into my mouth (Hawt stuff!). Now, when my mate came in from Puerto Rico, i had saved up for over 2 weeks. I wanted it to be the night of a lifetimes. Well, as expected, when he arrived, he was jet lagged and tired, i gave him that, and we did nothing the first night. Second night was calm and he was well rested. For some reason, he still denied me pleasure. So, with him sleeping right next to me, i decide "Why the fuck not", so i give myself the best pawing Ive ever had. Well, about 5 minutes later, my cock explodes and launches cum EVERWHERE. Face, hair, the wall, the CEILING, and even all over my mates face. Well, he woke up pissed as hell. I just responded "Well, you could have picked where you wanted it if you were the one in control of it" but yeah, he was pissed, and i had to clean the big white drip off the ceiling. During his entire 2 week stay here in Fabulous Las Vegas, i mated him twice, and he "Tried" to mate me once, only to "Fail" and while i was cleaning up, he went off by himself. The more time goes by, the more i think he was just using me for my money, and that he knew i was to lonely and desperate to leave him.

[fuzzyroo]

I had a video (before my computer died and i lost it)
of a blooper take of me in fursuit trying to use the first drippy dragon.

I had one of those models where the tubes were wrong. so i ride it up and down and didn't notice anythign wrong untill i grab the syringe (i'm in fursuit so i couldn't see it wasn't connected) and started to spray my bed with "dragon cum". i got half way down the syringe before going "wait, wtf..i should be feeling something" so i had to take the head off and realize that i just fake cam all over my feetpaws and the tube was just standing there, disconnected. hurray

luckly though BD were very understanding and were happy to alleviate the situation.