Awkward moments

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LittleZeroThatCould
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby LittleZeroThatCould » Wed Feb 07, 2018 7:51 pm

So, I'm what you might call a NEET. As such, I'm afforded the luxury of enjoying a fairly nocturnal life style.

My sister lives a hundred miles away, but routinely comes into town every other weekend or so, bringing her boyfriend and sons. One is still an infant. Anyway, the older son- who just turned 7- has a very uneasy relationship with me. He only ever comes to me when he needs something.

Normally, my sister shows up just before lunch, and my family sometimes leaves for several hours prior to run errands before she arrives. So, I had the house all to myself, and I had a few hours before people would start showing up. So, I decided to give Rex some attention. Things were going nicely, and though tempting, I refused to let Tyson get in on things to cover the back door while Rex breached the main entrance. So I'm getting into it, and I know I'm on a time limit, but then, I hear something terrifying.

The door to the garage opens up, and I can hear the little ankle biter crying out that he needs batteries; AA batteries to be specific. He's immediately told to 'go ask your aunt, you know how many batteries she hoards in her dungeon.' Footsteps coming down the stairs. There's only a semi-closed door blocking view. I throw my blanket over myself up to my neck and pretend to have already been asleep. Little hellion kicks in my bedroom door without even knocking and starts screaming that he needs batteries. I give him what he's after, and he leaves.

But then my sister comes down the stairs as well, and of all times, she chooses now to wax about childhood memories, all while I'm laying there, not wearing anything, and have a silicone dog burying his bone in me just under the covers. Ten minutes later, she gets to her point that she wants me to run errands for her as a favor. I tell her where she can shove her errands, and she finally leaves, but not before sniffing the air of my bedroom, and asking me if I was hiding groupies again, and if I was, to get them out before my nephew runs into them.
It's not masturbation, it's an orgy for one.
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Cynic Dickic
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Cynic Dickic » Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:23 pm

LittleZeroThatCould wrote:The door to the garage opens up, and I can hear the little ankle biter crying out that he needs batteries; AA batteries to be specific. He's immediately told to 'go ask your aunt, you know how many batteries she hoards in her dungeon.' Footsteps coming down the stairs. There's only a semi-closed door blocking view. I throw my blanket over myself up to my neck and pretend to have already been asleep. Little hellion kicks in my bedroom door without even knocking and starts screaming that he needs batteries. I give him what he's after, and he leaves.

But then my sister comes down the stairs as well, and of all times, she chooses now to wax about childhood memories, all while I'm laying there, not wearing anything, and have a silicone dog burying his bone in me just under the covers. Ten minutes later, she gets to her point that she wants me to run errands for her as a favor. I tell her where she can shove her errands, and she finally leaves, but not before sniffing the air of my bedroom, and asking me if I was hiding groupies again, and if I was, to get them out before my nephew runs into them.


Were you not using any lube or anything? Or did you grab it and hide it under your covers? Regardless that's quite the story, and just goes to show the odor of cumlube is a bit of an issue.


As for me, I just had one of my own.

In a nutshell, I was an article on the female uses for masturbators a while back and the obvious option of putting dildos in them was mentioned, it gave me the idea of trying it out myself.

Thing is, my only BD dildo at thr moment is a medium sized Elliot, which is quite large by regular dildo standards. Never mind what the site says, it's .5 inches longer and from what I can tell the shaft is at least 2.3 inches in diameter, versus the 2 the site describes, and it only gets thicker torwards the base.

I was too curious for my own good though, and only about half an hour ago I tested it out. Combine the fact my elliot's girth is on a level only a handful of people in the world could come close to with Janine's Muzzle already having a pretty bad tear on one side with the fact Janine's Muzzle is infamous for tearing at the edges of the entrance and it's not hard to guess what happened.

The tear that was already there is now well over twice as big, and a new one a bit bigger than the original tear was before this exeriment has been made on the other side.

Needless today I'm ordering some Sil-Poxy first thing tomorrow to make repairs, and while I'm at it I'll probably order some double-sided suction cups to put on the base of Elliot and whatever future models I get that don't support a suction cup.
Last edited by Cynic Dickic on Fri Feb 09, 2018 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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LittleZeroThatCould
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby LittleZeroThatCould » Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:28 am

Cynic Dickic wrote:Were you not using any lube or anything? Or did you grab it and hide it under your covers? Regardless that's quite the story, and just goes to show the odor of cumlube is a bit of an issue.


I was using lube, yes. I just didn't feel it was relevant to the point of the story to mention it, so I didn't mention it. It's like Chekov's Gun; if you mention X, X has to come into play before the third act.
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Cynic Dickic
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Cynic Dickic » Mon Feb 12, 2018 3:35 pm

When you thought you were clean, and everything seemed fine throughout the session, only to remove your toy and see the under-side of the shaft caked in you-know-what right after orgasming.
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Rubzka
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Rubzka » Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:23 pm

Awkward moment, had to refill the cumtube and had to open a new one. Couldnt find the bottle top, then i felt something between my buttcheeks when i was looking, behold! :psyduck: :laugh:

Sneaky bastard :stick:
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little-mythgital
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby little-mythgital » Sat Feb 17, 2018 2:45 am

When you're trying to have a toy session and a Blue Tit bird just sits just outside your window just staring in. Can you please not do that Mr Bird
Well the session was pretty terrible anyway, got put off twice so it didn't go well. First my dad's friend coming round to pick up something in the garden, at least he didn't try knocking to see if my dad was home and then the bird staring in.
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Curiosa
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Curiosa » Sat Feb 17, 2018 3:50 pm

little-mythgital wrote:Can you please not do that Mr Bird

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Animals are weird like that. Sometimes when my sister's corgi is visiting he'll wait outside my room so when I'm done with a session I'd open the door to clean my toys and he'd be right there like "hey auntie whatcha doin'?" :doh:
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chickadee
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby chickadee » Sat Mar 03, 2018 4:25 pm

Living with parents at the time, and they kept their weight lifting machine in my room because it was a huge bedroom.

The weight machine collected dust like most at-home gym equipment (in my experience).

Of course my dresser is right next to the machine. I leave my medium Crackers sitting on top of the dresser after washing it.

I come home after school to find the weight machine no longer dusty, and a pillowcase draped over the Crackers to protect its modesty.
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FurSharks
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby FurSharks » Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:22 am

First awkward experience was my mom asking about my neoprene pup hood... I ended up telling her it was more like a costume piece even though some people use it for fetish play. Don't think she bought it.

The other one was with my roomate... thought everyone was gone (rare, given we had four people in one apartment), pulled out my toy to have a nice long session. Roomate came back earlier than expected! Luckily I had the bedroom door locked, but telling him to wait a few minutes and then coming out to face him was totally awkward :surprised:
I told him I was nude modeling for my own drawing in the mirror (this was at art school, so it's plausible.) but pretty sure he knew exactly what was going on. Same roomate later admitted to peeking in my closet and seeing my tail plug and a glass dildo of mine... whoops.

The other one was at flight customs, when said glass dildo was in my bag... Bag had to be pulled out of the line, customs agent was looking on the Xray. "What's this?" Reaches into the bag, pulls out my dick for the whole airport to see. As soon as he realized he immediately put it back and returned my bag without a word....
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FurSharks
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby FurSharks » Wed Mar 14, 2018 3:13 pm

... Reading this thread just caused me to realize that I a missing a tube of lube from my toy sesh the other day. Fuck.

I have no idea where it went...
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Sandpaper
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Sandpaper » Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:26 pm

Not exactly an awkward story, but pretty funny. (And incase you're worried I'm ruining furries image to the outside world, don't worry. I keep immaturity like this where only furries of legal age are exposed. No kids and no non-furries ever saw these shenanigans)

I used a dildo as a doorstop at a convention. It was hilarious! A medium black friday kelvin with a suction cup that I hadn't used in ages. I figured it would give everyone more joy by being handled immaturley than using it as intended.
Sadly someone from security decided to enforce a rule about being family friendly in public spaces... In a secluded wing of the hotel, dedicated for room parties, at an 18+ con... when there's a guy down the hall with a puppy mask right down the hall...
We did the same thing the year before without complaints, so I assumed it would be fine.

Kinda sucked that we needed to keep it in the room. In there it just became a sex toy. Out by the door it was a pillar of immature humour!

What sucked even more was that it was stolen (or possibly lost) the last day! And I, the man of no shame, decide to report it to both con staff and hotel! Pretty funny seeing their reactions... But still pretty awkward.
I also got the opportunity to ask in telegram chats "Have you seen my dick?" "I was using it as a doorstop, but now I can't find it!" "It was big and black.". That kinda made it worth it tbh. I only used it like that cause I could live with losing it.

But next year I'm printing out Missing posters darn it! I want my dick back!
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Tempest » Tue Mar 20, 2018 6:30 pm

Sandpaper wrote:But next year I'm printing out Missing posters darn it! I want my dick back!

Please post pics of them if you do! What an amazing story. :widesmile:
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Thomas Reid
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Thomas Reid » Sun Apr 01, 2018 8:47 am

1.)
One more reason why i wanted to get in here cause next to no one knows about at least one of these stories. Many years back before i moved out and later back (we have a house) to my family. I was using the toys on a pretty regular basis and used to clean them right after i was done. Mostly waited until the house was empty but one day i had the horse puss sitting right next to the heater. Bright color and it was just sitting next to me. It was late so i didnt think much of it. Obviously my mother entering the room wasnt planned so while in a panic i kinda managed to conseal it.

She asked me what it was and i responded with "nothing". One very akward silence topic was changed and to this day i have no clue if they ever found out.

2.)
Fast forward to my USA trip. I wanted to save on shipping so i did use this trip to stock up on merch for different US based fan goodies. Now the packages all arrived and i had one or two toys in my bag. Not only did i open my bag with a notice that was searched but one of the toys got damaged. While i was rather angry about it i never complained to anyone since this was a situation i didnt want to get myself into. :angry:

3.)
Order some very small collectible packages from bd as well as the dice. I didnt open it yet and when i did looked over to a friend and said "i think they forgot to put the numbers on". He looked at me and responded they would be meant for putting into certain places such as the butt and i was kinda sad about it as i thought it would have been one you could play with.

To this day im being made fun of for that one. I still want one with numbers. :stick:
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Padre
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Padre » Sun Apr 01, 2018 8:53 am

Thomas Reid wrote:1.)
...

2.)
Fast forward to my USA trip. I wanted to save on shipping so i did use this trip to stock up on merch for different US based fan goodies. Now the packages all arrived and i had one or two toys in my bag. Not only did i open my bag with a notice that was searched but one of the toys got damaged. While i was rather angry about it i never complained to anyone since this was a situation i didnt want to get myself into. :angry:

...


Wow, how did they damage the toy whilst searching a bag? Nail imprints or? I mean there's rather often stuff that can break in travel bags, imagine the hell a customer would raise if airline staff (??) broke their laptop or whatever :bugeyed:
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Thomas Reid
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Thomas Reid » Sun Apr 01, 2018 8:59 am

Padre wrote:
Thomas Reid wrote:1.)
...

2.)
Fast forward to my USA trip. I wanted to save on shipping so i did use this trip to stock up on merch for different US based fan goodies. Now the packages all arrived and i had one or two toys in my bag. Not only did i open my bag with a notice that was searched but one of the toys got damaged. While i was rather angry about it i never complained to anyone since this was a situation i didnt want to get myself into. :angry:

...


Wow, how did they damage the toy whilst searching a bag? Nail imprints or? I mean there's rather often stuff that can break in travel bags, imagine the hell a customer would raise if airline staff (??) broke their laptop or whatever :bugeyed:

Was more like a cut. So it seemed like they used something sharp. Maybe they thought i had drugs or something like that.


Oh and bonus story. The same part of my stuff with the exception of the harmless stuff i could bring with me on the flight vanished. Seems the airport had trouble sending it with me. So i received that a couple of days later but lucky me no one had it before i could remove the merch. That was on the flight right after the one with the damage done to the toy. On that trip out of 6 flights i had to take 5 had delays too. :unamused:
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Padre
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Padre » Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:01 am

Thomas Reid wrote:
Padre wrote:
Thomas Reid wrote:1.)
...

2.)
Fast forward to my USA trip. I wanted to save on shipping so i did use this trip to stock up on merch for different US based fan goodies. Now the packages all arrived and i had one or two toys in my bag. Not only did i open my bag with a notice that was searched but one of the toys got damaged. While i was rather angry about it i never complained to anyone since this was a situation i didnt want to get myself into. :angry:

...


Wow, how did they damage the toy whilst searching a bag? Nail imprints or? I mean there's rather often stuff that can break in travel bags, imagine the hell a customer would raise if airline staff (??) broke their laptop or whatever :bugeyed:

Was more like a cut. So it seemed like they used something sharp. Maybe they thought i had drugs or something like that.


Oh and bonus story. The same part of my stuff with the exception of the harmless stuff i could bring with me on the flight vanished. Seems the airport had trouble sending it with me. So i received that a couple of days later but lucky me no one had it before i could remove the merch. That was on the flight right after the one with the damage done to the toy. On that trip out of 6 flights i had to take 5 had delays too. :unamused:


....They cut up a toy to look for drugs? Damn, i sure know >I< would have raised hell! Ain't got no shame when it comes to expensive toys :stick:
Sorry that happened to you!
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Thomas Reid
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Thomas Reid » Sun Apr 01, 2018 9:08 am

Well im not sure it was for drugs or if they just damaged it for fun. I know it was fine before the flight and i did clean it a lot before i even considered using it again. The other stuff was fine and when i could check i was already far away from the airport anyway.

Its also not helping when you are not back home but in a foreign place. In general british airports gave me more trouble compared to americans (with the expection of being held for questioning once). Had to get out my camera and they had rude moments while getting me to the plane.
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little-mythgital
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby little-mythgital » Tue Apr 03, 2018 3:48 am

One of those moments last night. Was busy trying to find this tiny plastic toad for my miniature I am building. Believed it was in one of the boxes somewhere in the spare room.
So I was busy searching through them in the room while my mum wondered off, she was trying to help me find it. Then all the sudden I started hearing tissue paper rustling and my brain instantly clicked 'Oh man is she looking in the cardboard boxes under my desk... MY TOYS ARE UNDER THERE AAAA!!!'
So I charged from one room to the other with boxes in my arms, with this panicked-like expression
"What are you doing?!" Sounded like I was quietly screaming there

Turns out my mum was looking in one of the other boxes across the room, far away from where my toys were. I was relieved there but it makes really need to focus on getting another storage box for my toys, as most are indeed under desk in bags, in a cardboard box covered over in tissue paper. Most of my miniatures are wrapped in tissue paper in different storage boxes.... So many boxes.
I was very uneasy that night and I told my mum to forget about the toad, I will just sculpt one. I really confused my mum with sudden tension... whoops.

To buy list-
Another storage box with lock
Maybe some nice storage bags for the toys also.
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Scorpio
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Scorpio » Wed Apr 04, 2018 2:16 am

Just my luck. Didn't get a note that we had ventilation inspection today, so I hurry to stuff a towel and hazel toy from my bathroom floor and into my laundry bag. And totally forgot that I had my teenie weenies on dry as well. Of course one of them had fallen out on the floor and been laying there for the whole insection. This happens only ones every third year. Why does this happen on every inspection? :doh:

(And wow. I have had my hazel for 3 years.)
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Vampyrum
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Re: Awkward moments

Postby Vampyrum » Fri Apr 06, 2018 2:27 pm

Nothing too weird this time, honestly. But twice within about a month or two I left my lube in the bathroom. :O It wouldn't be thaaaat bad, but my brother (who I live with currently) hates anthro stuff. I'm confident a friend who was over also saw it, and nobody said anything, but it's one of those things where you know they know. lol Uggggh. I don't really care that much, honestly, but it's still a bit awkward.
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