Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

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AustinFetish
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby AustinFetish » Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:21 pm

That's what I want to try, moderation instead of abstaining. I had a life coach for part of 2015, and she recommended the same regarding porn. She has a Phd with an emphasis on human sexuality too.

Also, the author Stanton Peele promotes moderation over abstaining. He specialized in addiction.

I don't play games, but I used to compete on horses and play sports. I want to compete again, but I have more training to do. I have friends that are big gamers, but they have no outdoor responsibilities like a garden or 3 horses to care for. I don't have time to go to their game night, and I also no longer want to. I've been a few times.

Other than here on BD, or Atheism, I'm not one to feel like I have much in common with gamers.

My biggest stressor right now is that I have several unfinished projects like my garden, my tiny apartment, vehicles to get rid of, fence to build, and a garden to complete that are stressing me a whole lot.

I'm tempted to drive the vehicles to junk yards and drop 'em off.
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby Hoofs_N_Horns » Fri Oct 28, 2016 5:47 pm

Just focus on a few adult sites, your favorite ones.

Like I only focus on a few topics within a few subforums here on BD. Rather than keeping up with every new post. I can get an idea of what's new and going on with a few minutes skimming. Sure that probably means I miss a lot - oh well! Favorite toy shops - check on those like once / a few times per week at most.

Similarly I follow one or two Tumblr porn blogs, really only need to check on those once a day. And then a few furry sites where only a little bit changes that interests me on a daily basis. Make sites work for you... with daily summaries or only look at dashboards or sign up for weekly newsletters, so you can keep up without so much time and effort.

And definitely find other more productive things to do with your time, hobbies like learning a new language or playing a musical instrument, something that is relatively time consuming yet challenging, enjoyable and rewarding. The odds are once you get into other things, you'll care less and less about the adult sites that dominated your time for so long. Not that it's easy to kick such a habit but it's worth a try.
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby Rispy_Girl » Fri Oct 28, 2016 8:28 pm

I have the same problem :misc6: :eyeroll:

What I've been doing to improve it is use Habitica to keep track of what I need to do in life and make sure it gets done. Plus the reward system really helps. If I get bad again I plan on setting alarms for how long I can be on and giving myself 30 min intervals several times a day to be on. :dukeretro: so far it help me cut back
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby AustinFetish » Sun Oct 30, 2016 8:11 am

Hoofs_N_Horns, that reminds me of advice from Leo Babauta (famous minimalist author) about choosing fewer sites. I've done this a little bit over the years, but this last month I ventured and looked at new sites.

Tumblr is very challenging. There's just so many good posts to see. I want to keep scrolling or clicking on the blog that they reblogged from.

Rispy_Girl wrote:I have the same problem :misc6: :eyeroll:

What I've been doing to improve it is use Habitica to keep track of what I need to do in life and make sure it gets done. Plus the reward system really helps. If I get bad again I plan on setting alarms for how long I can be on and giving myself 30 min intervals several times a day to be on. :dukeretro: so far it help me cut back


Rispy_Girl, thanks a lot for mentioning Habitica. I'll look into that. Babauta has mentioned 30 min time parcels as well. Hm, that may be promoted by other authors too, possibly?
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby milk » Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:20 am

finding sites/forums/activities that arent sex related or negative is the best solution for me. my sex drive is wild so ill probably wind up thinking about things on my own when im playing a game with characters i like or something regardless. keeping yourself busy with other things can help curb the Need to check whos talking about the new toy they got. it doesnt have to be a big undertaking. just catching up on an old blog or even inactive places can be entertaining.
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby AustinFetish » Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:56 am

milk wrote:finding sites/forums/activities that arent sex related or negative is the best solution for me. my sex drive is wild so ill probably wind up thinking about things on my own when im playing a game with characters i like or something regardless. keeping yourself busy with other things can help curb the Need to check whos talking about the new toy they got. it doesnt have to be a big undertaking. just catching up on an old blog or even inactive places can be entertaining.

Thanks for the suggestion. I spend time on non sexual sites at times. That is still part of the problem. My total internet usage is higher than what my life can handle, if I want to achieve other goals.

A again, thanks for taking the time to write a suggestion, and I like your username, milk!
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby milk » Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:03 pm

its difficult to curb net usage when you get so into it. this is why id say to look for as many places that you can deem "productive" (in air quotes, because sexuality on its own isnt negative to me). ones that you can apply to offline hobbies/tasks can be useful. i started reading up a lot about a certain topic recently and been trying to turn that into picking up books from the library on it instead.

no problem! good luck, i hope you find a solution that helps you
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby Nixsy_Kitty » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:27 pm

Spent about 2 hours looking through the various toys on shevibe.com. I can relate. Hope I just didn't help enable you just now. It is semi-typical, more like occasionally, I browse porn in seemingly endless fashion. But I guess I just got tired of it. I don't browse nearly as often as I did before.

Another thing is unless the porn has certain play I just can not get into it. So a quick peek tells me what to expect. With hentai I look for preferred art-style or theme. With porn I try figure out what to expect from a particular site. I am kind of a snob about things to limit or curb my consumption whether that be porn, sex toy purchases, other purchases, etc. but that in itself can lead to lots of browsing.

I do have some favorite sites I look at but more for novelty (just hentai drawings).

Generally, when it comes to porn I already got a collection I can pull from, fap and done. Maybe you just haven't found what your into to have enough go-to favorites that never get old so you don't have to keep looking.

I think the real issue would be if there isn't anything you have in mind before you start browsing anything. And if you don't have anything in mind then maybe that is when you really, really do need a time limit. Whatever the case I still try to watch the time.
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby christoffer199 » Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:34 pm

AustinFetish wrote:How do you manage your time spent on adult sites? I could spend all day! Some of it is on tumblr looking at pics of dongs and nude people, but a lot of it is on this forum or Reddit. I can't seem to stay in control. I'll blow hours more than I intend to, and I'll also run on very little sleep. I've been not getting enough sleep for too many years. Yes, years.... I go through brief periods of less internet use, but after a couple of weeks, the flood gates bust open. :buddy:



You might need help. I do this too i never lose sleep over it.
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby karla-chan » Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:24 am

If you are lonely but enjoy gardening, then could it be worth finding a gardening club, to meet others? I know my Granddad, and Auntie have been big fans of stuff like that. So it could be worth looking into, because you know you already have something in common with the people there. I know others have covered the other outside hobby thing, but it really does help.

I know I get super stressed if I don't get some time to be with other people. It's something I really need to feel okay. Just personally I go role-playing in town once a week, and I just enjoying the chance to talk to other people outside my gaming group too. I also have doll meets every couple of months. So you finding something that links to your interests that gets you with other people probably will be super helpful.

Like others have said moderation is better than cold turkey, but it does sound like there is a root cause, and that might be the thing that you have to deal with, rather than the symptoms. The symptoms being the porn addiction.

Either way, reaching out and saying I think I have a problem is a good step in the right direction. I really do hope you can get to a situation where you feel in control again.
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby AustinFetish » Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:34 am

karla-chan wrote:If you are lonely but enjoy gardening, then could it be worth finding a gardening club, to meet others?

My city has an organic gardening group. I went to a meet up 7 yrs ago before my last relationship. I should look into that again, thanks.

I don't lack opportunities to socialize with people, but I lack places to meet like-minded women. A gardening group may have a handful out of 60 in attendance. That's still better than nothing.

I used to go to polyamory meetups almost weekly. I'm looking to date or relate in a way that's more monogamish. So, I'm finding myself in a position to want to make new friends.

I'm probably going to join a local gym. I've been a fit guy without having to workout, but now that I'm 36, I'll have to put a little effort in to keeping some muscle tone and a good posture. I've been too frugal to join one, and I'm much more of an environmentalist than your average gym goer, so that's why I've stayed away. I think it will provide me with a feeling of getting something done and being on an upward trend. So, I'll probably take the leap even though I have dumbells at home and know how to wirkout without frivolous equipment.
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Re: Time management and Adult sites- How do you do it?

Postby karla-chan » Tue Nov 01, 2016 1:39 pm

AustinFetish wrote:
karla-chan wrote:If you are lonely but enjoy gardening, then could it be worth finding a gardening club, to meet others?

My city has an organic gardening group. I went to a meet up 7 yrs ago before my last relationship. I should look into that again, thanks.

I don't lack opportunities to socialize with people, but I lack places to meet like-minded women. A gardening group may have a handful out of 60 in attendance. That's still better than nothing.

I used to go to polyamory meetups almost weekly. I'm looking to date or relate in a way that's more monogamish. So, I'm finding myself in a position to want to make new friends.

I'm probably going to join a local gym. I've been a fit guy without having to workout, but now that I'm 36, I'll have to put a little effort in to keeping some muscle tone and a good posture. I've been too frugal to join one, and I'm much more of an environmentalist than your average gym goer, so that's why I've stayed away. I think it will provide me with a feeling of getting something done and being on an upward trend. So, I'll probably take the leap even though I have dumbells at home and know how to wirkout without frivolous equipment.


I see, I hope it goes well. You didn't specify what kind of lonely, so it could of meant anything. However in general meeting people tends to fix either IMO. Since most of my partners have been met through hobbies, and only one has been at a party through a friend.

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