Anal Sex advice thread

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Harbenz
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Harbenz » Wed May 10, 2017 12:06 pm

Azareus wrote: :surprised:

I guess as long as you don't feel any discomfort or constipation, you can play all you want, because is a small toy. It would be different if were large toys and you would have to use enemas every time (it can affect your intestinal flora or something) then you would have to take breaks between. I used that lube before... it's better than nothing, I suppose. It's water based so there's no problem with silicone toys, only it has parabens, if this bothers you.
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Azareus
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Azareus » Wed May 10, 2017 12:24 pm

Harbenz wrote:
Azareus wrote: :surprised:

I guess as long as you don't feel any discomfort or constipation, you can play all you want, because is a small toy. It would be different if were large toys and you would have to use enemas every time (it can affect your intestinal flora or something) then you would have to take breaks between. I used that lube before... it's better than nothing, I suppose. It's water based so there's no problem with silicone toys, only it has parabens, if this bothers you.

I'll freely admit I have no idea what they are so I'd appreciate enlightenment, especially if that's something that should bother me.
And if they are something to worry about, are there any lubes you would recommend for somebody looking for a cheaper option that can be easily grabbed in the UK?
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby PerfectlyNormal » Wed May 10, 2017 12:36 pm

Azareus wrote:And if they are something to worry about, are there any lubes you would recommend for somebody looking for a cheaper option that can be easily grabbed in the UK?

It may sound odd, but I've been using coconut oil ever since it was reccommended to me in this thread. It's worked great for me so far. It doesn't dry up quickly like water based stuff would, and it works in the shower. I'm not sure if it actually matters, but I'm using virgin unrefined oil.
You can also take a look at this lube compatibility thread.
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Harbenz
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Harbenz » Wed May 10, 2017 1:03 pm

Azareus wrote: :misc8:

I quote:
"Parabens are chemical compounds widely used in cosmetics. They are widely spread because they are cheap and it takes little to fulfill their function as preservatives.
They serve to kill bacteria and preserve the cosmetics we use daily, increasing their period of use and safety.
However, some are under suspicion that they may alter the hormonal balance of the body, an action known as endocrine disruptor."


Some people avoid them, I'm not hypochondriac, but if one product has many and I will use it a lot would consider another. I don't use comercial lubes (also i'm not in UK) so I can't recommend you any, sorry. I use J-lube, technically is a vet lube, but is very extended in serious anal players because is cheap and super slippery, is also concentrate, a bottle last a lot. And as PerfectlyNormal says, a virgin unrefined oil is other option. I don't use oils because is harder to clean :widesmile:
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Azareus » Thu May 11, 2017 2:03 pm

Whoops, thought I replied yesterday. Better late than never.
Cheers for the replies. I'll keep an eye out for parabens if I can then considering how often I'm going at it, just to stay on the safe side. I may also consider coconut oil but probably at a later date, for now I'm in a living situation where easy cleaning is paramount.
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Shardik » Thu May 11, 2017 4:31 pm

Azareus wrote:Okay, first post on this forum, no biggie, I'm totally not out of my comfort zone :surprised:


Welcome to the club! You will rarely find a more welcoming bunch, and I'm not kidding. We're all in this together against the big, ugly, sex-hating world, and the only thing we've got going for us is our kindness and compassion for one another. And a total understanding that, yeah, shoving something up your ass is fantastically pleasurable experience!

Azareus wrote:1. When it comes to toying, how often is too often? It's a small toy, there's no pain and no blood whatsoever. Despite only ever taking 2 fingers prior to acquisition I can easily thrust the entire thing in me repeatedly with no issues whatsoever. So as far as I'm concerned I feel I should be able to go as often as I like, only stopping if there's blood/pain/etc. If I'm missing some reason I should be taking it easy I'd love to know.


Yep, you can toy as often as you like. I'm, like... old. 51. I can toy every other day with a Medium Flint and get away with it, but for the same reason I can only work out every other day— at my age, I need time to recover. Before I turned forty, I toyed every day, possibly twice a day, with fairly large toys (I owned a Falcon Manrammer for years, and it was my part of my daily shower routine to freakin' pound myself into blissful oblivion with that thing. It's not a small toy, either; about the size of a large Chance, and I had it in a hard firmness, too.

Unless you're one of those unlucky people who has a highly irritable and sensitive rectum (and we've had a few of those, pour souls) and you get a lot of 'roids or other pain, toy until you've found your limits. Seriously.

Azareus wrote:2. Once I run out of the 250ml bottle of cum lube that came with the toy, I'm going to need an alternative that's easy to get in the UK. (Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the stuff but unless I'm doing a bulk order along with another toy, buying more isn't going to be viable for me) I'm just after something simple and cheap to start with so I was wondering if there are any ingredients in something like this that wouldn't play well with silicone: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Super-Slik-Wat ... words=lube It's a cheap and generic looking brand but reviews are mostly positive and for the price I'm willing to give it a go. I just need verification that it wouldn't fuck up my new toy in any way.


Don't ever buy a lube for which you cannot read the ingredients! Seriously. Silicone-based lubes fuck up silicone-based toys. Oil-based lubes fuck up oil-based toys (rubber and latex). Water-based lubes tend to be safe for all toys but, as we know, they also tend to dry out quickly.

For my money, I like to take coconut oil and prepared medium-think J-lube and blend them together with a whisk blender. I have even seriously considered experimenting with small amounts of lecithin (which you can get at most health food stores in the US) to make sure the emulsion "holds" well during sex. There are all sorts of additives gay men have tried over the years; a buddy of mine swears by a tiny drop of clove oil, glycerine, and xantham gum as thickeners/emulsifiers.

But when you get to that stage of play, you're pretty much in fisting territory, and you don't seem to be quite there
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Azareus » Thu May 11, 2017 11:51 pm

Shardik wrote:
Azareus wrote:Okay, first post on this forum, no biggie, I'm totally not out of my comfort zone :surprised:


Welcome to the club! You will rarely find a more welcoming bunch, and I'm not kidding. We're all in this together against the big, ugly, sex-hating world, and the only thing we've got going for us is our kindness and compassion for one another. And a total understanding that, yeah, shoving something up your ass is fantastically pleasurable experience!

Azareus wrote:1. When it comes to toying, how often is too often? It's a small toy, there's no pain and no blood whatsoever. Despite only ever taking 2 fingers prior to acquisition I can easily thrust the entire thing in me repeatedly with no issues whatsoever. So as far as I'm concerned I feel I should be able to go as often as I like, only stopping if there's blood/pain/etc. If I'm missing some reason I should be taking it easy I'd love to know.


Yep, you can toy as often as you like. I'm, like... old. 51. I can toy every other day with a Medium Flint and get away with it, but for the same reason I can only work out every other day— at my age, I need time to recover. Before I turned forty, I toyed every day, possibly twice a day, with fairly large toys (I owned a Falcon Manrammer for years, and it was my part of my daily shower routine to freakin' pound myself into blissful oblivion with that thing. It's not a small toy, either; about the size of a large Chance, and I had it in a hard firmness, too.

Unless you're one of those unlucky people who has a highly irritable and sensitive rectum (and we've had a few of those, pour souls) and you get a lot of 'roids or other pain, toy until you've found your limits. Seriously.

Azareus wrote:2. Once I run out of the 250ml bottle of cum lube that came with the toy, I'm going to need an alternative that's easy to get in the UK. (Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the stuff but unless I'm doing a bulk order along with another toy, buying more isn't going to be viable for me) I'm just after something simple and cheap to start with so I was wondering if there are any ingredients in something like this that wouldn't play well with silicone: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Super-Slik-Wat ... words=lube It's a cheap and generic looking brand but reviews are mostly positive and for the price I'm willing to give it a go. I just need verification that it wouldn't fuck up my new toy in any way.


Don't ever buy a lube for which you cannot read the ingredients! Seriously. Silicone-based lubes fuck up silicone-based toys. Oil-based lubes fuck up oil-based toys (rubber and latex). Water-based lubes tend to be safe for all toys but, as we know, they also tend to dry out quickly.

For my money, I like to take coconut oil and prepared medium-think J-lube and blend them together with a whisk blender. I have even seriously considered experimenting with small amounts of lecithin (which you can get at most health food stores in the US) to make sure the emulsion "holds" well during sex. There are all sorts of additives gay men have tried over the years; a buddy of mine swears by a tiny drop of clove oil, glycerine, and xantham gum as thickeners/emulsifiers.

But when you get to that stage of play, you're pretty much in fisting territory, and you don't seem to be quite there

Yeah, years of lurking have shown me that everybody here is super open and willing to help. I'm just a person that can find it hard to open up about things. Trying to make strides though!

1. Good to know I can essentially go wild in this regard, I'm having enough fun that pulling myself away might really annoy me. :stick:
With regards to irritable rectums, I actually suffer from ulcerative colitis so my entire bowel gets inflamed and painful and there's blood etc etc. When I was diagnosed it was at its worst and I figured I'd probably never actually get into anal play, regardless of how curious I was at the time. Fast forward to today and it's completely under control with medication and toying is 100% pleasurable, I'm learning to love my butt again which is absolutely fantastic. I'm counting my blessings. :laugh:

2. J-Lube is definitely something I want to check out once I'm not living with parents. As it stands I can get away with the odd session when everybody is asleep, do a quick wipedown of the tub (showers make cleanup super easy) and nobody is any the wiser. With J-lube being a powder that needs prep and such I think I'll have to stick to other water based lubes that I can clean up in a matter of seconds.
And no, certainly not quite at fisting yet. :widesmile:

Thanks a lot for the reply. :D
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Gargoyle242 » Fri May 12, 2017 11:29 am

Azareus wrote:
2. J-Lube is definitely something I want to check out once I'm not living with parents. As it stands I can get away with the odd session when everybody is asleep, do a quick wipedown of the tub (showers make cleanup super easy) and nobody is any the wiser. With J-lube being a powder that needs prep and such I think I'll have to stick to other water based lubes that I can clean up in a matter of seconds.


Here's a chart showing different water-based lubes and their PH balance. It may be helpful. I've heard good things about unrefined coconut oil. I picked up some the other day, but haven't used it yet.
LUBE-pH.png
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby KnotyDes » Fri May 12, 2017 11:38 am

Azareus wrote:2. J-Lube is definitely something I want to check out once I'm not living with parents. As it stands I can get away with the odd session when everybody is asleep, do a quick wipedown of the tub (showers make cleanup super easy) and nobody is any the wiser. With J-lube being a powder that needs prep and such I think I'll have to stick to other water based lubes that I can clean up in a matter of seconds

U dont have to do alot of prep with j lube. U can make big batches but for quick sessions i just directly apply powder to toy and/or hand and hydrate. It washes away easily soap and water. No different from any other lube. Also 20 buck for like a years worth of lube. Its great
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Grimly Fiendish » Fri May 12, 2017 4:47 pm

KnotyDes wrote:anyone here ever have an issue where a clean out completely exhausts you? it feel almost like being drunk. this usually happens to me when it takes an unusually long time to clean out, like more than a hour. this ruins any chance of me having a decent session.


I was just reading that taking large amounts of water inside can cause dizziness. You're absorbing water through your intestines, and too much too fast can cause problems ("diluting the blood" is what I read, not sure how accurate that is). Technically speaking, it's possible to die from drinking excessive amounts of water. The recommendation was that flushing out with over 3 or 4 liters can start to become an issue. I'm not sure how accurate any of this is, but maybe something to research. And for very big cleanouts, maybe break up into two sessions (afternoon/evening?).

In support of this idea, I also read that 2 gallon enema bags used to be available, but they are basically not available anymore (too big). I believe a gallon may be the largest commonly available bag.
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby KnotyDes » Fri May 12, 2017 10:50 pm

Grimly Fiendish wrote:
KnotyDes wrote:anyone here ever have an issue where a clean out completely exhausts you? it feel almost like being drunk. this usually happens to me when it takes an unusually long time to clean out, like more than a hour. this ruins any chance of me having a decent session.


I was just reading that taking large amounts of water inside can cause dizziness. You're absorbing water through your intestines, and too much too fast can cause problems ("diluting the blood" is what I read, not sure how accurate that is). Technically speaking, it's possible to die from drinking excessive amounts of water. The recommendation was that flushing out with over 3 or 4 liters can start to become an issue. I'm not sure how accurate any of this is, but maybe something to research. And for very big cleanouts, maybe break up into two sessions (afternoon/evening?).

In support of this idea, I also read that 2 gallon enema bags used to be available, but they are basically not available anymore (too big). I believe a gallon may be the largest commonly available bag.

wow i posted this a while ago but thanks for the response.
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Sileaa » Fri May 19, 2017 10:43 am

So I've been performing enemas with my enema bulb(about 115ml) about 2–3 times a week lately, spaced out evenly, before toying and I think I'm getting the hang of it. However, frequently, I've been having the same issue pop up: After a bit, the water will seem to be coming out clean to the point where I feel that I only need to do one more fill and I'll be done, then I'll do so one more time and the water will come out dirty again, making me repeat the process again. It's a little frustrating.

My process is as follows lately:
  • Fill up with bulb twice(most, but not all water from bulb goes in) while sitting on toilet
  • Get on hands and knees to horizontally orient body for 30secs–1min
  • Walk around for a bit near restroom until I feel a strong urge to release(usually doesn't take long at all)
  • Release
Any tips for me here? I'd rather be doing this more efficiently but I don't know how to go about that.
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby KnotyDes » Fri May 19, 2017 1:25 pm

I have a question that i have been pondering for a while.

Does physical size actually matter for anal sex. I see alot of people put there height when talking about depth play and such. I mean in theory the bigger body cavity you have means more you can stuff in side. But also practice make perfect if ya get what im saying.

I am 6' 8" and ive always found it easy to push my limits in both depth and girth. I have always wondered if my size has made things easier for me or if its just been all the practice over the years.

Kind of just wondering out loud but thanks in advance for any responses
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby HentaiBD » Fri May 19, 2017 2:10 pm

Sileaa wrote:So I've been performing enemas with my enema bulb(about 115ml) about 2–3 times a week lately, spaced out evenly, before toying and I think I'm getting the hang of it. However, frequently, I've been having the same issue pop up: After a bit, the water will seem to be coming out clean to the point where I feel that I only need to do one more fill and I'll be done, then I'll do so one more time and the water will come out dirty again, making me repeat the process again. It's a little frustrating.

My process is as follows lately:
  • Fill up with bulb twice(most, but not all water from bulb goes in) while sitting on toilet
  • Get on hands and knees to horizontally orient body for 30secs–1min
  • Walk around for a bit near restroom until I feel a strong urge to release(usually doesn't take long at all)
  • Release
Any tips for me here? I'd rather be doing this more efficiently but I don't know how to go about that.

For me focusing on relaxing makes the biggest difference. Once I have the water inside I try to relax (like really, this might not be as easy as it sounds) and wait until the stuff comes back out. Don't try to force it out. Once you get the trick on letting it out on the toilet on its own repeat the process about 3 times and you should be good to go.
I'm not too sure about the amouts of water you'll need. I guess that's something you have to try out on your own (I'm pretty sure I use more than 100ml since I use a shower head attachment)
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Harbenz » Fri May 19, 2017 6:16 pm

KnotyDes wrote:I have a question that i have been pondering for a while.

Does physical size actually matter for anal sex. I see alot of people put there height when talking about depth play and such. I mean in theory the bigger body cavity you have means more you can stuff in side. But also practice make perfect if ya get what im saying.

I am 6' 8" and ive always found it easy to push my limits in both depth and girth. I have always wondered if my size has made things easier for me or if its just been all the practice over the years.

Kind of just wondering out loud but thanks in advance for any responses

Probably a larger body has an easier starting point, but I don't know to what extent the total size of the body can influence in the rectum/gut, I do not think it is really determinant, unless we are talking about the extreme limit like pelvis width, then probably yes. I think practice is almost everything, I'm 5'6" and I can take some XL, and just the other day I saw a toy and I remembered when I could not even get the tip, and now would be my to-go toy.
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Grimly Fiendish » Fri May 19, 2017 10:05 pm

Sileaa wrote:So I've been performing enemas with my enema bulb(about 115ml) about 2–3 times a week lately, spaced out evenly, before toying and I think I'm getting the hang of it. However, frequently, I've been having the same issue pop up: After a bit, the water will seem to be coming out clean to the point where I feel that I only need to do one more fill and I'll be done, then I'll do so one more time and the water will come out dirty again, making me repeat the process again. It's a little frustrating.

My process is as follows lately:
  • Fill up with bulb twice(most, but not all water from bulb goes in) while sitting on toilet
  • Get on hands and knees to horizontally orient body for 30secs–1min
  • Walk around for a bit near restroom until I feel a strong urge to release(usually doesn't take long at all)
  • Release
Any tips for me here? I'd rather be doing this more efficiently but I don't know how to go about that.


I've been learning how to clean out more efficiently too, so it feels funny to give advice, but I think your mistake might be getting horizontal. This allows the water to flow further up. If you're not doing depth play or using large toys, and have efficient bowel movements, you probably don't need to send water that deep. Try remaining standing/sitting. If you want to do a deep clean, recommendations are to lay down on your left side for a couple minutes, then on your back, then your right side, then on left side again, before expelling. This allows the water to travel deeper. You're allowing the water to travel a little deeper, but you're not using enough water or doing enough passes to do a real deep clean. My 2 cents!
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Shardik » Sat May 20, 2017 2:45 pm

Grimly Fiendish wrote:I've been learning how to clean out more efficiently too, so it feels funny to give advice, but I think your mistake might be getting horizontal. This allows the water to flow further up. If you're not doing depth play or using large toys, and have efficient bowel movements, you probably don't need to send water that deep. Try remaining standing/sitting. If you want to do a deep clean, recommendations are to lay down on your left side for a couple minutes, then on your back, then your right side, then on left side again, before expelling. This allows the water to travel deeper. You're allowing the water to travel a little deeper, but you're not using enough water or doing enough passes to do a real deep clean. My 2 cents!


Very true. But even cleaning out standing has its problems; if your upper colon is full, just getting the rectum & sigmoid clear may stimulate peristalsis, getting more stuff down into the sigmoid. And if you've got any water in there, it's all gonna come out. There have been days where it seemed no amount of cleaning, even if I was doing all of it standing, was gonna get me clean enough to toy. No matter how long I waited, there always seemed to be more.

One thing I did try was to get a short stepping stool and rest my feet on it. Kinda an ad-hoc squatty-potty thing, but it worked surprisingly well. Not so sure about the science, but it does seem to do the trick.
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Grimly Fiendish » Tue Jun 06, 2017 1:06 am

Good illustrated guide to enemas here. Fun to read, and easy to understand. I also learned a couple of good tips...

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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby Fuig » Tue Jun 06, 2017 5:56 pm

i though that you shouldn't force water up your intestines. is he saying to let it flow into your bum or stick the hose in and let it build up for 30 seconds, but he doesn't describe what the water pressure is set at ether. is there a felling you will get when you know there is too much water.
Grimly Fiendish wrote:Good illustrated guide to enemas here. Fun to read, and easy to understand. I also learned a couple of good tips...

https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com
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Re: Anal Sex advice thread

Postby KnotyDes » Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:32 pm

Grimly Fiendish wrote:Good illustrated guide to enemas here. Fun to read, and easy to understand. I also learned a couple of good tips...

https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com

that was silly and fun.
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