What's on your mind?

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Tallon
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Tallon » Mon Sep 10, 2018 3:36 am

Honestly, I'm out of thoughts. My psychiatrist and I are working on new med combos that might help me feel awake during the day. Otherwise, I'm a useless lump.
"Ecce! Scintillae!" :laugh:

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Smolder
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Smolder » Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:29 am

My lover and I were talking about the possibility of a date soon - it's been ages since we've properly gone out. Usually our time together consists of him coming over to my place. We would talk or do dumb stuff like start tickle fights, as well as fool around. That's certainly fun and all, but theres something special about going out together once in a while, even for something simple like coffee.
I'm hoping we can do that this week. I'll be out of state all of this weekend on a trip with my mom.
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Curiosa
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Curiosa » Tue Sep 11, 2018 11:51 am

Mom: "I finally followed your advice and got an account for your father and I on YouTube!"
Me: " Cool! What's your username?"
Mom: *says a username that sounds racy at best, a troll account as worst*
Me: "um...ok."
Mom: "What? What's wrong?"
Me:
Image
Me: "Nevermind, you should be fine as long as you don't post any comments on any videos you watch."
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Margo
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Margo » Thu Sep 13, 2018 3:18 am

Hi there,
Can't fall asleep, so just wasting my time on the Internet now. Smoking a cigarette. Well, I was trying to give it up, not once, I would rather say thousands of times. Nothing worked. I was not smoking for a week. I have insomnia, became too nervous and irritating.
Reading the article about insomnia and smoking on Vapingdaily now.
A month ago I slept good, but now have real problems with that. I think that's because of my attempts to give this habit up. Maybe I should visit the doctor, Not sure.
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Niah
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Niah » Mon Sep 17, 2018 7:19 am

Took Erebor, my goat, to the vet this morning for his hernia repair surgery. I'm definitely taking a nap at some point today since I had to get up at 645 on my day off and I've gotten up at 515 every morning since Wednesday. Fortunately I can sleep in tomorrow and I don't work a double (morning and evening shift on the same day) until Sunday. I haven't been doing much thanks to my shitty work schedule and being so tired. Most of me knows I should really wait and not order one, but I'm really tempted to order a custom Winston's Tongue; I'm thinking of a medium/5 done in a marble of the new Signature for Winston's Tail. The Tongue and Zaratan are about the only two models that still have my interest, but it's not a "I must have it now" interest. Votan wouldn't be bad if the small weren't too small and the medium weren't too big. Oh well.

My area didn't get hit nearly as badly by Florence as they were saying we would; the wind wasn't too bad and we got maybe an inch of rain as compared to the forecasted 3 to 6 inches. My parents live more towards the middle of the state, so they saw a lot more rain and wind than I did. The damage along the coast is just horrific though.

I made 2 big, ranting edits to this post, so I hid them under a spoiler.

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AkaiKitsune
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby AkaiKitsune » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:52 am

Why the fuck is the Bad Dragon Discord an absolute shithole?
Last edited by AkaiKitsune on Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Niah
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Niah » Wed Sep 19, 2018 2:53 pm

Doing a separate post instead of adding to the super long one above. Erebor ended up dying Monday after his surgery; they called one of my bosses instead of me because her name is on the account and they needed her permission to take him off oxygen. His surgery went well, but he started crashing in recovery. They got him on oxygen and he improved, but every time they tried to take him off it his oxygen levels would drop and his heart rate would go all crazy. They tried 4 or so times, even with a shot of epinephrine once, but nothing worked. My boss called the other boss, who in turn called to tell me. Monday sucked so much.

Yesterday went better at work than I expected, except for one thing. The bucks are all in rut and we have this yearling Nubian buck who is already basically fully grown. He's a lovely red and white and he's called Big Red. Well, Big Red decided I was either an option to mate with or that he needed to challenge me, because he kept trying to mount me. Now, I'm 5ft 6in tall and when he rears on his hind legs his head is about even with mine, so he's not some little thing. He ended up knocking my glasses off at one point and I caught a glancing blow from a front hoof across my forehead. I have just a little scrape, but it's still sore.

Today I managed to get a large splinter in the end of a finger and it hurts like crazy. I got most of the splinter out except for a bit where it's in the deepest. I soaked it in some warm salt water and some little bits came out. I'll do another soak tonight before bed.

On the plus side, I have an interview/meeting with the co-manager at the store near me. I'd likely be working in the deli and I expect I'd start out part-time. I did a quick Google and it looks like $9 an hour is about the average. That would put me making roughly what I make at the goat farm, maybe a little less after taxes. However, if I'm hired, I would likely have the option to move around in the store after a while, along with promotions, pay raises, and so forth. I don't have that option at the goat farm. My sister said to wait till I'm hired for sure before telling my bosses at the goat farm and then give them my 2 weeks notice. It would mean I'd finish out the month there, most likely. I feel maybe a little bad since they have been nicer to me lately, but their unpredictable moods and mood swings are still a thing and I never know when they next might get irritated with me or mad. I'm trying to be a little optimistic, but also not to get my hopes up too high since I've had seemingly promising interviews before which have then led to nowhere.
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See my profile for a list of the toys I own. Please do not solicit me about selling any of my toys.
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Tallon
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Tallon » Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:41 am

So... two of my close friends are feuding. One calls the other a "shitty" person, whilst the other remains silent in contempt. Meanwhile, my spouse and I are friends with them both. Should we be obligated to fix things, or should we let nature run its course and let a long-standing friendship die?
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little-mythgital
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby little-mythgital » Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:56 pm

My mum came back from town today and told me how one of the workers from the toy store was asking where I was because she hasn't seen me for a while :crying:
Yep go in there whenever I go to town, haven't been able to go out much because I haven't been well and intense anxiety. Hopefully soon, like looking at their Schleich collection. I know I have to go see the family that run the bear shop also, he is getting a bird in soon that I've got my eyes on.

Been slowly making this Halloween themed plush, got the foam head and the fabric cut for the inside of the mouth, teeth and lips. Also have some eyes to glue in. First time in such a long time on doing something Halloween related, how my dad hates it so celebrating is a no in this house.
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Tallon
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Tallon » Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:14 pm

I made a serious mistake. I was a little tipsy and proceeded to tell my brother and sister-in-law (a drama and gossip queen if ever there was one), casually, that my spouse and I have a very open relationship. I meant that as thus: so far, he's okay that I'm a trans man and is sticking with me. We have a solid relationship together. But we've basically said that if that relationship ever gets uncomfortable on its own, I will not force my spouse to stay with me. Also, though I did not say this, we may not object to a third party, male or female, in the future. But... I'm cursing myself for saying "open relationship" around a girl who will be on the horn with everyone about it.
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Niah
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Niah » Fri Sep 21, 2018 3:51 pm

I'm doing a lot of thinking right now. I've done a lot of digging into the job I got yesterday. Turns out that getting full-time is hard (harder than the co-manager led me to believe). You end up working full-time hours (or near enough), but are still listed as part-time. I've texted my boss to ask about staying on the farm and getting more hours, and explaining how I actually do enjoy the work there and would like to learn to milk and all. I'm sort of going with my gut on this one. I don't like working with food anyway and I know I'm not cut out for that kind of work with people. It's a dead end job (no offense meant) and I'm not suited for it. With the goat farm, I can learn more about caring for the goats. I actually like the work involved when I think about it. Scheduling will be more flexible as well. I wish she'd text me back already so I can go turn in my shirts and shit and make up some bullshit family emergency excuse for why I can't work there suddenly. I've been what I would call functionally depressed since I was 14 or 15, roughly half my life, and I've on and off vaguely considered suicide. Considering that the thought of changing jobs and working in that place led me to do a lot of ugly sobbing and actually seriously think of suicide. I haven't ever gotten that bad. I can't be medicated since I'm epileptic and most anti-anxiety and antidepressant meds lower the seizure threshold; they don't cause seizures, but they make them easier to occur. And being medicated in the one year before the epilepsy diagnosis didn't help me all that much. It might fuck me over a bit to quit a job before I've even started, but I know myself well enough now to know what I am and am not cut out for. The goat farm gig is hard fucking work, but I enjoy it and don't deal much with people. I hated the shit out of the produce stand job, and working in a grocery store would likely be worse. I'm afraid I'll have disappointed my dad since he actually said he was proud of me for once. But I like my sanity more, and I think the deli section of a grocery store would wipe out what little I have left.

Edit: Well, FML. Because of my texting my boss earlier, they've reached out to other interested people and if I were to work there I'd be on a reduced schedule. They don't plan on training anyone new on milking, and I got the impression from her text that she thinks I'd break stuff. I guess I have to stay at the store, and I guess just hope I don't get to the point of wanting to kill myself. I did just spend time applying to two insurance agency jobs, and one at another store (one not food/produce related). I guess my current bosses took the opportunity to do what they said they would do and work more with the university nearby to do internships and the like. Oh well. I guess I'll make do somehow.
Last edited by Niah on Fri Sep 21, 2018 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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See my profile for a list of the toys I own. Please do not solicit me about selling any of my toys.
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Smolder
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Smolder » Fri Sep 21, 2018 4:31 pm

Got all hyped up this morning because I seemed to be making friends with someone from work I rather enjoy the company of, and there was talk of us hanging out or something today. I was told he would text me once he woke up (estimated time was about 1pm), assuming he wasn't busy with other stuff. Well, it's 7:30 and I've got nothing. I'm guessing he had stuff to do but it's a horrible feeling being all hyped then slowly feeling the life drain out of me through the span of the day as I realized.
Trying not to be too upset as he likely had things he had to do. Would have appreciated a text about it but it's still a pretty new connection so we don't exactly text yet or I'd ask him myself what was up. Part of me wants to say something but I don't know what I would say :psyduck: there wasn't exactly solid plans in place but at the same time it kinda squashed my spirits to slowly come down from excitement to disappointment.
What makes it worse is none of my friends are responding to me :sniffing: so I am sad and lonesome, talking to no one, sitting around the apartment.
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Niah
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Niah » Fri Sep 21, 2018 4:47 pm

Smolder wrote:Got all hyped up this morning because I seemed to be making friends with someone from work I rather enjoy the company of, and there was talk of us hanging out or something today. I was told he would text me once he woke up (estimated time was about 1pm), assuming he wasn't busy with other stuff. Well, it's 7:30 and I've got nothing. I'm guessing he had stuff to do but it's a horrible feeling being all hyped then slowly feeling the life drain out of me through the span of the day as I realized.
Trying not to be too upset as he likely had things he had to do. Would have appreciated a text about it but it's still a pretty new connection so we don't exactly text yet or I'd ask him myself what was up. Part of me wants to say something but I don't know what I would say :psyduck: there wasn't exactly solid plans in place but at the same time it kinda squashed my spirits to slowly come down from excitement to disappointment.
What makes it worse is none of my friends are responding to me :sniffing: so I am sad and lonesome, talking to no one, sitting around the apartment.


I'm completely with you there. I hate getting hyped up about something and it not going how I expected, and it happens a lot with me. A lot of the people I like to think of as my friends are the type that don't really respond to texts all that often; so I tend to feel forgotten even though I don't think it's intentional on their part. I just don't really have friends in this area; not that I had friends back home either really. I'm also just sitting around my apartment (waiting on my boss to text me back about getting more hours and staying on the goat farm) and getting antsy with the waiting.
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See my profile for a list of the toys I own. Please do not solicit me about selling any of my toys.
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Tallon
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby Tallon » Sat Sep 22, 2018 2:00 am

Niah wrote:
Smolder wrote:Got all hyped up this morning because I seemed to be making friends with someone from work I rather enjoy the company of, and there was talk of us hanging out or something today. I was told he would text me once he woke up (estimated time was about 1pm), assuming he wasn't busy with other stuff. Well, it's 7:30 and I've got nothing. I'm guessing he had stuff to do but it's a horrible feeling being all hyped then slowly feeling the life drain out of me through the span of the day as I realized.
Trying not to be too upset as he likely had things he had to do. Would have appreciated a text about it but it's still a pretty new connection so we don't exactly text yet or I'd ask him myself what was up. Part of me wants to say something but I don't know what I would say :psyduck: there wasn't exactly solid plans in place but at the same time it kinda squashed my spirits to slowly come down from excitement to disappointment.
What makes it worse is none of my friends are responding to me :sniffing: so I am sad and lonesome, talking to no one, sitting around the apartment.


I'm completely with you there. I hate getting hyped up about something and it not going how I expected, and it happens a lot with me. A lot of the people I like to think of as my friends are the type that don't really respond to texts all that often; so I tend to feel forgotten even though I don't think it's intentional on their part. I just don't really have friends in this area; not that I had friends back home either really. I'm also just sitting around my apartment (waiting on my boss to text me back about getting more hours and staying on the goat farm) and getting antsy with the waiting.



I'm one of those people who are terrible at texting or getting around to texting. Maybe this is your friend. Do you have his number? Maybe, if he doesn't text within the next day, take the initiative and shoot him a "what's up?" text. Just a suggestion. It's not forceful or suggestive, but at least makes it clear you want to communicate.
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reine
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby reine » Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:55 am

Someone asked me to send them a Paypal invoice for this toy they want to buy from me, but they didn’t give me their email, so I... can’t do anything. I messaged them back to ask for their email address, and gave them mine in case Paypal Goods & Services is easier, but haven’t heard from them since.

It’s only been a few days, but I hope they’re not gonna just ghost me. :psyduck:
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little-mythgital
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby little-mythgital » Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:17 am

Stuff keeps coming out but lack of funds to buy. Might have to sell some miniatures again :laugh:
Got my eye on these detailed dinosaur busts and my dad is there chanting in the background for me to buy the Dilophosaurus, mostly the frilled version one. I doubt no one will buy me one as a gift as they are in the £100 range :stick:
Still wanting to pick up either Peppermint Kiss or last years Christmas Breyer horse.
Also keeping that bit by ready for some new JW toys, many know what's been going on with the stock and issues at the moment.
That time of year apparently, everything is coming out.
Also on the maybe list is these dinosaur LED lights, want them for the display but they are very long. Also a handmade Dodo Christmas decoration that I saw from the same shop. Oh the history between me and the Dodo bird, a joke name for me throughout Primary and Secondary school. It kinda stuck with me and it's a thing now. I will never know why.
Still unwell at the moment, been ages now. Suffering with my head and everything.
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wolfstardobe
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Re: What's on your mind?

Postby wolfstardobe » Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:18 pm

Apparently I’m pretty shit at fundraising. :psyduck:
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