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Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:56 pm
by little-mythgital
My mum came back from town today and told me how one of the workers from the toy store was asking where I was because she hasn't seen me for a while :crying:
Yep go in there whenever I go to town, haven't been able to go out much because I haven't been well and intense anxiety. Hopefully soon, like looking at their Schleich collection. I know I have to go see the family that run the bear shop also, he is getting a bird in soon that I've got my eyes on.

Been slowly making this Halloween themed plush, got the foam head and the fabric cut for the inside of the mouth, teeth and lips. Also have some eyes to glue in. First time in such a long time on doing something Halloween related, how my dad hates it so celebrating is a no in this house.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:14 pm
by Tallon
I made a serious mistake. I was a little tipsy and proceeded to tell my brother and sister-in-law (a drama and gossip queen if ever there was one), casually, that my spouse and I have a very open relationship. I meant that as thus: so far, he's okay that I'm a trans man and is sticking with me. We have a solid relationship together. But we've basically said that if that relationship ever gets uncomfortable on its own, I will not force my spouse to stay with me. Also, though I did not say this, we may not object to a third party, male or female, in the future. But... I'm cursing myself for saying "open relationship" around a girl who will be on the horn with everyone about it.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2018 3:51 pm
by Niah
I'm doing a lot of thinking right now. I've done a lot of digging into the job I got yesterday. Turns out that getting full-time is hard (harder than the co-manager led me to believe). You end up working full-time hours (or near enough), but are still listed as part-time. I've texted my boss to ask about staying on the farm and getting more hours, and explaining how I actually do enjoy the work there and would like to learn to milk and all. I'm sort of going with my gut on this one. I don't like working with food anyway and I know I'm not cut out for that kind of work with people. It's a dead end job (no offense meant) and I'm not suited for it. With the goat farm, I can learn more about caring for the goats. I actually like the work involved when I think about it. Scheduling will be more flexible as well. I wish she'd text me back already so I can go turn in my shirts and shit and make up some bullshit family emergency excuse for why I can't work there suddenly. I've been what I would call functionally depressed since I was 14 or 15, roughly half my life, and I've on and off vaguely considered suicide. Considering that the thought of changing jobs and working in that place led me to do a lot of ugly sobbing and actually seriously think of suicide. I haven't ever gotten that bad. I can't be medicated since I'm epileptic and most anti-anxiety and antidepressant meds lower the seizure threshold; they don't cause seizures, but they make them easier to occur. And being medicated in the one year before the epilepsy diagnosis didn't help me all that much. It might fuck me over a bit to quit a job before I've even started, but I know myself well enough now to know what I am and am not cut out for. The goat farm gig is hard fucking work, but I enjoy it and don't deal much with people. I hated the shit out of the produce stand job, and working in a grocery store would likely be worse. I'm afraid I'll have disappointed my dad since he actually said he was proud of me for once. But I like my sanity more, and I think the deli section of a grocery store would wipe out what little I have left.

Edit: Well, FML. Because of my texting my boss earlier, they've reached out to other interested people and if I were to work there I'd be on a reduced schedule. They don't plan on training anyone new on milking, and I got the impression from her text that she thinks I'd break stuff. I guess I have to stay at the store, and I guess just hope I don't get to the point of wanting to kill myself. I did just spend time applying to two insurance agency jobs, and one at another store (one not food/produce related). I guess my current bosses took the opportunity to do what they said they would do and work more with the university nearby to do internships and the like. Oh well. I guess I'll make do somehow.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2018 4:31 pm
by Smolder
Got all hyped up this morning because I seemed to be making friends with someone from work I rather enjoy the company of, and there was talk of us hanging out or something today. I was told he would text me once he woke up (estimated time was about 1pm), assuming he wasn't busy with other stuff. Well, it's 7:30 and I've got nothing. I'm guessing he had stuff to do but it's a horrible feeling being all hyped then slowly feeling the life drain out of me through the span of the day as I realized.
Trying not to be too upset as he likely had things he had to do. Would have appreciated a text about it but it's still a pretty new connection so we don't exactly text yet or I'd ask him myself what was up. Part of me wants to say something but I don't know what I would say :psyduck: there wasn't exactly solid plans in place but at the same time it kinda squashed my spirits to slowly come down from excitement to disappointment.
What makes it worse is none of my friends are responding to me :sniffing: so I am sad and lonesome, talking to no one, sitting around the apartment.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2018 4:47 pm
by Niah
Smolder wrote:Got all hyped up this morning because I seemed to be making friends with someone from work I rather enjoy the company of, and there was talk of us hanging out or something today. I was told he would text me once he woke up (estimated time was about 1pm), assuming he wasn't busy with other stuff. Well, it's 7:30 and I've got nothing. I'm guessing he had stuff to do but it's a horrible feeling being all hyped then slowly feeling the life drain out of me through the span of the day as I realized.
Trying not to be too upset as he likely had things he had to do. Would have appreciated a text about it but it's still a pretty new connection so we don't exactly text yet or I'd ask him myself what was up. Part of me wants to say something but I don't know what I would say :psyduck: there wasn't exactly solid plans in place but at the same time it kinda squashed my spirits to slowly come down from excitement to disappointment.
What makes it worse is none of my friends are responding to me :sniffing: so I am sad and lonesome, talking to no one, sitting around the apartment.


I'm completely with you there. I hate getting hyped up about something and it not going how I expected, and it happens a lot with me. A lot of the people I like to think of as my friends are the type that don't really respond to texts all that often; so I tend to feel forgotten even though I don't think it's intentional on their part. I just don't really have friends in this area; not that I had friends back home either really. I'm also just sitting around my apartment (waiting on my boss to text me back about getting more hours and staying on the goat farm) and getting antsy with the waiting.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2018 2:00 am
by Tallon
Niah wrote:
Smolder wrote:Got all hyped up this morning because I seemed to be making friends with someone from work I rather enjoy the company of, and there was talk of us hanging out or something today. I was told he would text me once he woke up (estimated time was about 1pm), assuming he wasn't busy with other stuff. Well, it's 7:30 and I've got nothing. I'm guessing he had stuff to do but it's a horrible feeling being all hyped then slowly feeling the life drain out of me through the span of the day as I realized.
Trying not to be too upset as he likely had things he had to do. Would have appreciated a text about it but it's still a pretty new connection so we don't exactly text yet or I'd ask him myself what was up. Part of me wants to say something but I don't know what I would say :psyduck: there wasn't exactly solid plans in place but at the same time it kinda squashed my spirits to slowly come down from excitement to disappointment.
What makes it worse is none of my friends are responding to me :sniffing: so I am sad and lonesome, talking to no one, sitting around the apartment.


I'm completely with you there. I hate getting hyped up about something and it not going how I expected, and it happens a lot with me. A lot of the people I like to think of as my friends are the type that don't really respond to texts all that often; so I tend to feel forgotten even though I don't think it's intentional on their part. I just don't really have friends in this area; not that I had friends back home either really. I'm also just sitting around my apartment (waiting on my boss to text me back about getting more hours and staying on the goat farm) and getting antsy with the waiting.



I'm one of those people who are terrible at texting or getting around to texting. Maybe this is your friend. Do you have his number? Maybe, if he doesn't text within the next day, take the initiative and shoot him a "what's up?" text. Just a suggestion. It's not forceful or suggestive, but at least makes it clear you want to communicate.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2018 8:55 am
by reine
Someone asked me to send them a Paypal invoice for this toy they want to buy from me, but they didn’t give me their email, so I... can’t do anything. I messaged them back to ask for their email address, and gave them mine in case Paypal Goods & Services is easier, but haven’t heard from them since.

It’s only been a few days, but I hope they’re not gonna just ghost me. :psyduck:

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:17 am
by little-mythgital
Stuff keeps coming out but lack of funds to buy. Might have to sell some miniatures again :laugh:
Got my eye on these detailed dinosaur busts and my dad is there chanting in the background for me to buy the Dilophosaurus, mostly the frilled version one. I doubt no one will buy me one as a gift as they are in the £100 range :stick:
Still wanting to pick up either Peppermint Kiss or last years Christmas Breyer horse.
Also keeping that bit by ready for some new JW toys, many know what's been going on with the stock and issues at the moment.
That time of year apparently, everything is coming out.
Also on the maybe list is these dinosaur LED lights, want them for the display but they are very long. Also a handmade Dodo Christmas decoration that I saw from the same shop. Oh the history between me and the Dodo bird, a joke name for me throughout Primary and Secondary school. It kinda stuck with me and it's a thing now. I will never know why.
Still unwell at the moment, been ages now. Suffering with my head and everything.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:18 pm
by wolfstardobe
Apparently I’m pretty shit at fundraising. :psyduck:

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 1:42 am
by little-mythgital
My ex-boyfriend wants to get back with me...
I don't know what to say really, I know it's a definite no from me. Especially what he pulled off the many times and I have given up on relationships because I hate being touched and everything, romance is just not me. :eyeroll: I will stick with my toys thank you

Update: Now he is threatening to cut off contact with me. Right...

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:34 pm
by Niah
There should be a "mixed feelings" type of thread, lol. Today was a completely shit day for the most part. I worked the morning shift at the goat farm and it started out well enough. We had some major storms last night, so I knew I had to clean the houses in the outside pens and all. I still figured I'd be done around noon. However, apparently the way I clean the houses isn't good enough or whatever for one of the two owners. She bitched at me about it. I don't think of how I was doing as an improper way or whatever, but I guess it was. She decided to lay into me for a few other things. I didn't clock out till 315p. I'd clocked in at 549a, and for perspective, the evening/afternoon shift starts at 4p. The way the woman had talked to me one time gave me an inkling about what ended up happening just a bit ago. I got a text from her saying that they'd gotten my last three shifts covered (Sat evening, and Sun morning and evening) and that they'd mail me my last checks. I'd originally planned on just driving there to pick them up once a week the next two weeks, but I guess they don't even want to see me there. Whatever. I'm not at all surprised by this. I'm so done with that place that I'm not even bothered about not getting a little more money for those last three shifts because it's not worth my mental and physical health anymore. This gives me two days off in a row before I start back again at the store. The manager of my area hadn't scheduled me for today, Saturday, or Sunday since I was down for so many shifts at the goat farm. I'm not about to go there and tell her I could come in tomorrow or Sunday. I need these two days off to actually cook a proper meal for myself and get back some of my mental strength and coherency. I need two days in a row of sleeping in and doing whatever the fuck I want. Good thing I was going to throw out those shitty rubber boots anyway, so they can just toss them and I won't give a shit. And no more wearing out my socks, no more getting filthy and itchy, and no more coughing and sneezing from the wheat straw and hay. The original owner died of cancer and I believe I heard that it was all the hay and straw that caused it. With the fine particles, I'm not surprised. Too bad I'm not especially drawn to any toy models or I'd splurge on one, lol.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2018 5:53 am
by Smolder
Work last night started out pretty crappy - I work in a factory that right now mostly makes urinal screens, and while any 'good' smell in bulk is terrible, out of the ones we run I was running the one I hate the most (kiwi grapefruit! it would smell great if i wasnt regularly dealing with huge amounts of it..).
But I got chatting with my boss about a few random things and the topic came up of the time I was considered for the material handler position on first shift but it instead was given to my friend (who I have seniority over) because my small build was seen as being possibly too frail to be capable of such a physical task. While I was happy for my friend, I was really salty about the fact that the reason I didn't get chosen was my weight. I despise being physically underestimated because that's what people have done all my life, assumed I was weak and helpless. I'm small, sure, but I can easily lift and maneuver 50+ lb. Virtually nothing that a material handler lifts is even that heavy. Maybe 30 lb at most.
Anyways, while talking about that he started saying maybe on days where I'm not running a press, I could go through some of the training. So next time I'm just doing the 'extra' task if theres less presses running than people at work, I'll be in the warehouse getting trained on the forklift :widesmile: we were both getting a kick out of the idea of me surprising everyone with my abilities so neither of us has made big news of the whole deal.
My mom (who is also the plant manager) was actually encouraging me a while back to ask about this exact type of training since I expressed so much interest in it all but I didn't think it would actually work in my favor so I just let it go. How wrong I was!

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 3:22 am
by little-mythgital
Sitting there questioning myself at the moment.
Busy sorting out a commission, so there is me picking out characters. And there I go mentioning about how one of my dragon/human characters have a werewolf husband. I felt some sort of tension there, got a reply saying they are not comfortable about that sort of relationship. I said that it's okay I understand, you can do the human version of him before he became a permanent werewolf of sorts.
Now I'm sitting here constantly saying 'Why did I even mention that?'
I think I had one too many conversations about BD and sexy fantasy creatures. :doh:

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 3:29 am
by Padre
little-mythgital wrote:Sitting there questioning myself at the moment.
Busy sorting out a commission, so there is me picking out characters. And there I go mentioning about how one of my dragon/human characters have a werewolf husband. I felt some sort of tension there, got a reply saying they are not comfortable about that sort of relationship. I said that it's okay I understand, you can do the human version of him before he became a permanent werewolf of sorts.
Now I'm sitting here constantly saying 'Why did I even mention that?'
I think I had one too many conversations about BD and sexy fantasy creatures. :doh:


Pfftsh, their fault there, who would turn down the chance to do a dragon/werewolf commission? That sounds like a blast to draw :stick: Don't let that one person make ya feel bad, yea?

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 3:46 am
by little-mythgital
Padre wrote:
little-mythgital wrote: :words:


Pfftsh, their fault there, who would turn down the chance to do a dragon/werewolf commission? That sounds like a blast to draw :stick: Don't let that one person make ya feel bad, yea?


Yeah, some little things get to me easily. I know one artist that would love to draw them as he loves werewolves. I usually commission him of my dragon/human characters. A werewolf character with one would be a huge bonus. Just have to wait on the reply.

Just some have their comfort zones and apparently romantic pairings with a werewolf is a no

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 3:51 am
by Padre
little-mythgital wrote:
Padre wrote:
little-mythgital wrote: :words:


Pfftsh, their fault there, who would turn down the chance to do a dragon/werewolf commission? That sounds like a blast to draw :stick: Don't let that one person make ya feel bad, yea?


Yeah, some little things get to me easily. I know one artist that would love to draw them as he loves werewolves. I usually commission him of my dragon/human characters. A werewolf character with one would be a huge bonus. Just have to wait on the reply.

Just some have their comfort zones and apparently romantic pairings with a werewolf is a no


Mhm, true true, everyone's comfort zones lie differently.... I sure know I've got some things I ain't gonna draw for all the money in the world, so I guess I can't really blame 'em.
Hope your piece turns out nice!

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:13 am
by BlastShelter
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Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2018 10:22 am
by little-mythgital
Padre wrote:
little-mythgital wrote:
Padre wrote:
:words:


Thanks! Got something sorted out, just some normal human before he became permanent werewolf. The artist was okay doing normal art with them but not couple art unless he was human.
Just need to wait on the other reply from another for some 18+ action haha :smile:

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 3:03 am
by Tallon
I feel sick. Sick of politics, sick of the news, sick of my social media feeds. I can't remember a time when my family was this divided or this toxic, and it frightens me. And my spouse said it's probably only going to get worse.

Edit: I should note that my usual routine is to stay the hell away from politics and religion when it comes to family, because we have very differing opinions. But now I've got families on both sides trying to squeeze me of some way or another on social media, and it makes me super uncomfortable. Some family is even in the "if you're not with us, you're against us" camp. And really, I just want to go about my own business without the barrage of messages asking me my opinion like my relationship to them is on the line.

Re: What's on your mind?

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 2:48 pm
by Curiosa
Anyone else think of the junk lady scene from Labyrinth when they're trying to clean and need to rid of stuff? Or is this just me?

Not gonna lie, personifying my hoarding impulses as the junk lady actually helps me get rid of stuff. Not sure how psychologically healthy it is, but hey it motivates me to get rid of what I don't need.