Janine the Lab assistant!

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OverlyExcitable
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Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby OverlyExcitable » Mon Jul 29, 2013 11:44 pm

Things that my dragoness gets up to while I’m at work
(Or the ‘quack science’ thread)

So, due to unforeseen circumstances, we ended up with a spare dragoness. We felt a bit guilty / hoard-tastic about having a duplicate, but the BD staff helpfully suggested that to get past this, we use it to “perform GREAT SCIENCE for the good of dragonkind”.

So here we go..
(Part of me wants to say that she’s trying to get her cutie mark.. XP)


BANNANA HOLDER
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Success – 3/5
Puerility – 5/5
Hilarity – 4/5

A bit difficult to insert without mulching the fruit, although whipped cream does make good lubricant here. Good gripping technique. But OMG the panic of trying to get it out in one piece when the end breaks off..


HOT FRANKFURTER PROTECTIVE GRIP
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Success – 5/5
Puerility – 5/5
Hilarity – 5/5

Wow.. It’s like she was born to do this! Slightly slimy, salty sausage slips south surprisingly slickly. And you can get it out again!


IMPRACTICALLY LARGE DRINKING STRAW
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Success – 3/5
Puerility – 4/5
Hilarity – 3/5

The clue is in the title. She does work as a straw, but sucking pulls her labia closed and cuts off the liquid flow, meaning that you have to both suck and lap at the same time to keep the fluid coming, lest you turn a funny shade of red and collapse from the effort.
Unusual, and takes some coordination.


FRUIT BOWL
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Success – 4/5
Puerility – 4/5
Hilarity – 4/5

Since genitalia and sharp objects do not exactly mix, knives and forks are banned from this experiment. For the sake of amusement, so are hands.
Bit messy, very slimy, and fun. Definitely one to try for any fans of oral. Just try not to lose any berries inside of her..


FLOWER ARRANGER
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Success – 4/5
Puerility – 2/5
Hilarity – 1/5

Vase too big for that flower? Janine to the rescue..
Just make sure you go for plain-stem plants, and not thorns!


HEAT RESISTANT BEAKER STAND
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Success – 4/5
Puerility – 1/5
Hilarity – 1/5

The heat resistant properties of silicone are well known in the culinary and science worlds. Janine makes a worthy lab assistant, although since she usually works sitting down, you pretty much need a tripod to keep her standing for the length of the experiment. Shame we don’t have a test-tube and some dry ice to hand. That would have been far more amusing.


TACO HOLDER
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Success – 0/5
Puerility – 4/5
Hilarity – 1/5

Just.. no.


Oh dear.. I think we’ve driven her to drink!
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Feel free to contribute your own BD ‘Science’ experiments. The more the merrier!
(Just don’t critically appraise us.. this is hardly journal material. =P)
-- SCIENCE! --
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musicofthenight
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby musicofthenight » Mon Jul 29, 2013 11:51 pm

I am laughing now, the kind of squeaky half-choking laughter I sometimes get just before I come. This may be too much information, but just wanted to know that's what you've driven me to. Bravo.
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Pyre Light
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Pyre Light » Tue Jul 30, 2013 12:56 am

OMG i HOPE the staff see's this this is hilarious, this should be seen by everyone, ever, anywhere
i just found out about these Image Image Image Image
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Grimm
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Grimm » Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:26 am

This is hilarious!... :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Kimmo
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Kimmo » Tue Jul 30, 2013 2:45 am

The flower pot made me laugh the most xD
Looks awesome and naughty xD
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Nerdcock » Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:26 am

I know when working in the lab I always misplace my pen or pencil. Think she might make a good pen/pencil/marker cup?

Or how about as a bunsen burner? Now that would be cool. Well, actually it would be hot!
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Flurrie
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Flurrie » Tue Jul 30, 2013 11:24 am

This is like the best thing i've ever seen xD
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Audax
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Audax » Tue Jul 30, 2013 12:25 pm

Io most high, there is water all over my computer screen. At least I know my sinuses are clean now!

SUCH GREAT SCIENCE. Dragonkind's knowledge has been advanced by your worthy experiments!

I have the most unusual craving for tacos now...
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Axiom
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Axiom » Tue Jul 30, 2013 12:26 pm

This is probably the greatest forum thread in existence. You, my friend, win all the Internets. ALL OF THEM.
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Lunabelle
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Lunabelle » Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:23 pm

But can she be used as a bubble blowing device? Dip one end in bubble solution, blow gently through the other? Inquiring minds want to know!

I tip my hat to the sheer comic genius of this thread...
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Kimmo
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Kimmo » Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:34 pm

Lunabelle wrote:But can she be used as a bubble blowing device? Dip one end in bubble solution, blow gently through the other? Inquiring minds want to know!

I tip my hat to the sheer comic genius of this thread...

This I want to know! :D

Or a steam machine exhaust! :D
One happy tear for a good friend.
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Kimmo
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Kimmo » Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:34 pm

Lunabelle wrote:But can she be used as a bubble blowing device? Dip one end in bubble solution, blow gently through the other? Inquiring minds want to know!

I tip my hat to the sheer comic genius of this thread...

This I want to know! :D

Or a steam machine exhaust! :D
One happy tear for a good friend.
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logitech
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby logitech » Tue Jul 30, 2013 2:47 pm

It's like shit on cats taken to a new level.
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ravingsockmonkey
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby ravingsockmonkey » Tue Jul 30, 2013 3:18 pm

Since silicone is so heat resistant, you can also use her as a pot handle holder! Protect your hands from hot pot handles with the lovely Janine!
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InfernalFelidae
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby InfernalFelidae » Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:47 pm

:shock: Do you even realize what you've done... Now I'm going to have to get my paws on the Mate's sleeve and use it to drink my crystal light... DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO A SILICONE TOY?! Nothing good.
:misc11: Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out :misc12:

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ravingsockmonkey
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby ravingsockmonkey » Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:59 pm

I bet it would make a great ice cream cone. :buddy:
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Truxton
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Truxton » Tue Jul 30, 2013 6:50 pm

This thread....xD I'm in tears from laughing.
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby spyglass_saber » Tue Jul 30, 2013 9:36 pm

Oh my god...

taco on a taco. xD
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OverlyExcitable
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby OverlyExcitable » Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:13 pm

O_o
This is attracting more attention than we thought it would..
What have we started?

Ok.. we'll start working on some of the less dangerous ideas you've posted.
Does someone else want to champion the male toy's role in the scientific community? Or are we willing to accept the hypothesis that 'anything you can do, ladies can do better'?

Anthro dragon Coat Hanger anybody?
-- SCIENCE! --
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Vard
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Re: Janine the Lab assistant!

Postby Vard » Wed Jul 31, 2013 12:25 am

This thread is the best thing... ever. This has made my morning awesome. Looking forward to seeing more!
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