I actually have an experience to share now! Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing
So I ordered my second BD toy a few days ago, a lovely flop Hazel. Today I'm heading home from Uni and I check the tracker, it's delivered early again (gotta say BD, two toys ordered, both appeared like 4 days early, doing it right). Now, I live with my grandparents while I study, and they respect my privacy and don't open my mail and stuff, so I'm not too concerned. I get home, grab the box and chuck it in my room. As far as I could see, not even a hint of what's in the box is visible to the casual glance, so all fine.
Fast forward a few hours, sitting down eating dinner, and my Grandfather chimes in with "Oh hey, what's with that delivery? What do you need a silicone statue for?" At this point I get a Fallout V.A.T.S moment where time freezes and I need to think very carefully about my next move, because I can hear in his voice he has ideas. Thank god I took so many drama classes in improv as a kid, and that I was bloody good at it.
Without missing a beat I reply "Oh no, that's the silicone based heat sink I ordered for my processor." They know nothing about computers, I can get away with this.
"I was sure it said silicone statue..."
"Nope, silicone sealant."
Now, I'm pretty sure he bought it, but really it's 50/50. Regardless, the topic was dropped and if he did guess, it's been made clear that I don't want to discuss it, which he seems to be respecting.
Remember kids, being able to think of absolute nonsense and sell it like a door-to-door salesman is a remarkably good skill to learn
"Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face." - Dresden Files